How to stop fighting in your marriage

How to stop fighting in your marriage

No body is perfect, but there are some things that could be avoided such as fighting in a marriage that is why we have decided to drop the topic “How to stop fighting in your marriage.”

So a neighbor of mine that lives behind my house was always having issues with her husband every single day.

I was curious to know why they always disturb the neighborhood.

What seems to be the issue that couldn’t be settled silently and amicably?

I had wanted going to her and asking her what the problem was but I didn’t want to intrude so I kept my cool.

The next day, I was surprised to see the wife of my neighbor knock on my door with tears on her eyes.

I welcomed her in and offered her a chilled soft drink to calm her nerves then proceeded to asking her what she the matter was that she had to visit me that early morning with tears on hr eyes.

The tears kept rolling down her eyes uncontrollably.

Then she finally answered my question.

According to her, he husband always come back home heavily drunk and each time she ask him where he was coming from, he gets angry and makes attempt into beating her.

And when such happens, she also strike back out of anger and the fighting continues till the next morning.

She then seek advise on what to do, according to her, she so much loves her husband and don’t want to loose him.

He was never like that before, but I am really surprised at the sudden changes. Every night he comes home drunk. Please what should I do? I am confused. Should I divorce him or not because the pains he has caused me are too much to bear.” _ She Said

Before I proceeded to answering her question, I told her I would be answering her question based on the Bibles standpoint cause I am a Christian.

How to stop fighting in your marriage
How to stop fighting in your marriage
Photo Credit: Shutter Stock

My answer to the lady

  • Firstly, I told her Marriage Is for better for worst. You just have to try making your marriage work out by all means. Divorcing him may not be the right decision.
  • From the heartbreaking story she told me, I could denote that her husband may not really be who he claimed to be. He might have been a drunk before he met her and tried much as possible to hide it from her so he could look responsible. By saying this, I am not really saying for sure that her husband was a drunk before he met her, but he might have been have been.
  • To be sure, you have to carry out a private investigation by meeting and asking his family members, relatives and friends or people closer to to confirm if he was actually a drunk before you both married.
  • If he was not a drunk, then there must be something that might have ignited the bad habit. It may be financial issue, your behavior or something that made him want to drink away his sorrow.
  • When he comes back from where he has gone to drink, don’t disturb him or nag at him, the more you do that, the more he gets angry and is tempted to hit you. Just keep quite and let him be. The next day, you can sit him down and talk to him like a wife. Ask him what went wrong, what made him act the way he is doing. Then talk some words to him, I believe, there is no marital issue that can’t be solved.

But when he was hiding it from you before you married him, and now he is just releasing the beast in him after married, here is what to do

  • You need to know  your husbands weaknesses. Know his strength and weaknesses. By knowing this, you have solved 40 percent of your problems.
  •  Learn to apologize even when you are not at fault. Don’t just nag always, by doing that, you are giving him what he wants. apologize for the past issues you have had with him, with a simple apology, you can melt his heart and he will have to rethink all he has been doing to you.
  • Make away with anything that always make him unhappy and try to make him happy too. He deserves it, everybody needs happiness.
  • Pray for your husband. After trying these and it still doesn’t work, why not table it before God? For sure, he will come in when the matter seems uncontrollable.

Also ReadReasons why most relationships fail

Summary on How to stop fighting in your marriage

No doubt, it doesn’t pay to see yourself unhappy in a marriage.

Most fight by couples ends up in tears, and regrets.

 

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